


Overcoming Our Demons [Multiple Tropes]

by TeaGirl42



Series: A Little Bit Cliché [7]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barson Trope - Barba Singing!, F/M, Feminist Icon, First Kiss, First Kiss on Ferris wheel, One Shot, Stand Alone, Taking the Bullet (Figuratively), Tropes and Fanfic Cliches, major fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:02:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29821209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaGirl42/pseuds/TeaGirl42
Summary: Olivia thinks that she's facing her own worst nightmare, singing in public - but then she soon finds herself helping Barba through one of his own.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Series: A Little Bit Cliché [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106951
Comments: 15
Kudos: 53





	Overcoming Our Demons [Multiple Tropes]

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Bri (@blk0912) and Letha Ann (@Sonny_Carisi) for lots of Twitter inspiration on this fluffy little trope-fest. There was also a little inspiration from Madam Secretary 😆
> 
> I am going to do a more literal take on the 'taking a bullet' trope at some point!

Olivia had walked through the unit with barely a nod to her squad at about 10 am on a warm Thursday morning. Then she’d buried herself in her work for the next few hours. When Fin had put his head around the door at a little after 1 pm to ask if she wanted anything to eat he had received a near non-verbal response - a brief shake of her head and a small smile of thanks.

As Fin stepped onto the elevator to return half-an-hour later the door was held open at the last minute and he was joined by ADA Barba, who was just managing to balance takeout and two coffees with his briefcase.

“Counsellor,” Fin greeted him with a faintly amused nod.

“Detective,” Barba nodded in return and smiled slightly as he turned to face the door.

“Here to see us?” Fin asked.

“Liv,” Barba clarified. “I have a couple of things to go over with her before court next week.” He didn’t know why he felt the need to have a reason to visit, the truth was he didn’t really need to stop by today, but he’d passed by Ricci’s on the way out of court and suddenly felt the urge to see his friend.

“Hope she knows ya comin’, she don’t seem in the mood for surprise guests,” Fin warned him as the elevator stopped on their floor.

Barba raised his eyebrows a little as they walked. “Well, I come bearing gifts,” he told Fin as they rounded the corner into the unit.

Fin glanced at the brown paper bag and coffee carrier.

“Pasta and coffee from her favorite takeout,” Barba explained.

“Said she didn’t want food,” Fin told him with a shrug, “but ya welcome ta try.”

Barba frowned with a little concern, he didn’t think there were any major stresses in addition to her usual workload. Could there be a problem with Noah?  
  
He nodded goodbye to Fin, then smiled politely at Carisi and Rollins before he walked toward Olivia’s office.

After knocking on the door, Barba opened it with a little caution and narrowed his eyes when he found Olivia sitting with her head in her hands. Apparently, she hadn’t even heard him knock.

“Liv?” He asked softly. “Everything alright?”

She looked up, she was a little startled by his sudden arrival, but then noticed his genuine concern and smiled weakly. “Rafa, I didn’t know that you were coming by. Yes, I’m fine…just a little headache.”

Barba walked toward her desk - her reassurance certainly seemed genuine, but he couldn’t help but feel a little concerned. “I brought pasta from Ricci’s and your favorite coffee, but Fin said that you aren’t hungry?”  
  
She was surprised and genuinely touched by the gesture. “Well, I didn’t think that I was, but that suddenly sounds extremely tempting.”  
  
Barba relaxed further as he placed the bag down on the front of her desk, then passed out their food and drinks. “You don’t mind if I stay to eat with you?” He checked.

“I think the prospect of good company contributed to my restored appetite,” she told him candidly, “…lunch with a friend is always nicer than eating alone.”

Barba sat down with a grateful nod and they wordlessly began eating. After a minute or so, he finally looked over at her and smiled. “So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong? Fin mentioned that you haven’t been yourself all day.”

She shook her head. “It’s silly really…”  
  
Barba’s smile widened. “Olivia Benson is never silly,” he informed her with sparkling eyes.

She laughed a little now. “You’ve never seen me play _Just Dance_ with Noah.”

“Liv, I would pay a lot of money to see that!” Barba replied, happy to see that her mood had lifted.

“Rafa, you are always welcome. Your only charge would be participation…and maybe a pizza,” she teased him lightly.

“Sounds like a bargain,” he replied and then added, “…but seriously, there is something wrong, isn’t there?”  
  
Olivia sighed and shook her head. “It seems like the boss had hidden talents,” she started explaining.

Barba looked baffled now.  
  
“Don Cragen,” she clarified.

Barba nodded, but then shook his head, he clearly needed more information.

“Every other year the Police Foundation host an event to help support the families of officers killed on duty,” she started to explain, “…to fund vacations, academic support, unforeseen extras, you know…?”

He nodded again.

She smiled now, slightly enjoying the perplexed look on her friend’s face.

“It seems that over twenty years ago someone established the tradition that unit leads would step up and perform a number at the event,” Olivia explained with a pained expression.

“And you don’t want to?” Barba asked.

“Rafa, I literally _can’t,”_ Olivia said resolutely.

“Can’t? You’re nervous?” He clarified, he could certainly empathise with that.

“I can’t sing, Rafa, not a note,” she told him quietly as though confessing to a murder, “…I’m awful.”

Barba frowned, “You can’t be all that bad…”  
  
“Have you _ever_ heard me sing?” Olivia asked. “Even along with the radio?”  
  
He thought hard and then looked at her with a slight shrug. “I guess…I guess maybe not…?” he finally replied.

“See,” she said and held her hand out as though that proved her point, “…I’m more comfortable with you than anyone else and even you have never heard me sing. There’s a reason for that, Rafa.”  
  
Barba was unbelievably touched by her inadvertent compliment, but tried to remain focused on the problem at hand. “If you don’t sing in front of anyone how could you possibly know that you’re all that bad?” He suggested logically.

“Rafa, even _Noah_ teases me!” Olivia pointed out with exasperated laughter. “He’s probably the only person to hear me sing since I was a teenager.”  
  
He smiled with amusement now. “When is this event?” He asked.  
  
“Tomorrow night,” she replied and he was alarmed to see that she actually looked a little pale at the thought. “They assumed that I knew all about it, just asked me at a breakfast meeting this morning _what_ I was planning on singing! I almost choked on my coffee!”  
  
Barba couldn’t help but laugh softly at the horror on her face.

“Rafa! This is _not_ funny! I’m going to humiliate myself in front of half the NYPD brass!” Olivia exclaimed. She was still horrified but a reluctant smile had also begun to creep onto her face due to his infectious laughter. “Has anyone ever told you that you have a lovely smile?” She added after a moment.

Barba looked genuinely taken aback and she swore that he actually flushed a little as he glanced away.

“You know, when we first met I never imagined I’d see the day that I could make ADA Rafael Barba blush,” she teased him now, this was actually the most relaxed she’d felt all day. A problem shared...

He glared at her without malice and then rolled his eyes. “I thought we were talking about your inability to carry a tune,” he retorted.

She chuckled dryly, then sipped her drink and hummed.

“I bet you’re not as bad as you think,” he suggested. He honestly found it difficult to imagine that Olivia could be all that bad at anything.

She glanced at the door, smirked at him a little and then…

_“Jeremiah was a bullfrog_

_Was a good friend of mine_

_I never understood a single word he said_

_But I helped him drink his wine…”_

Barba smiled broadly, his eyes crinkling with affection and amusement. “I…” he paused and then finally sighed and concluded, “…that was pretty awful.”

Olivia laughed even more now, she was still horrified, but even while confirming her problem Barba was somehow making her feel better. “You are _not_ helping!” She fibbed.

“No, I mean, your voice is beautiful…in its own unique way…but also…really _really_ bad,” he trailed off weakly and smiled.

She covered her face now, still laughing. “I don’t even know what that means, but I do know that I can’t do this! Rafa, I’m going to make a fool out of myself!”

“You could just tell them that you can’t do it?” Barba suggested. “Or say that you’re ill?”

“I’ve already tried to make excuses and tell them that I can’t sing, if I call and say I’m ill they’ll know that I’m lying,” Olivia said with a pained expression.

“So refuse?” He suggested again.

“This is for the families of officers killed on duty, Rafa,” she reminded him, “…I can’t just say that I don’t want to do it!”  
  
He conceded that undeniable fact with a sympathetic look and a tilt of his head.

“Someone from this department needs to sing, and it's meant to be senior staff…” her blood was running a little cold again at the thought. “God, Rafa, I feel sick. I can’t do this! This is like one of those nightmares you have in high school when you’ve turned up to class in your pyjamas, only this is worse because it’s all too real and I’m never going to wake up from this nightmare!”

Barba was horrified to see that Olivia was suddenly on the edge of tears.

“Liv,” he stood, tossed his food on the table and rushed around to crouch in front of her, “…Liv, this is just one night.”  
  
“One night on which I’m going to make a fool out of myself in front of all of my professional colleagues. One night that is going to follow me around for years…the jokes, the smiles…it will be endless. You heard me, Rafa,” she felt his hands come to rest over hers and looked up into his eyes, “…I can’t do this! I _really_ can’t!”

Barba swallowed hard, nodded decisively and then finally said, “Okay, okay, I’ll do this for you. I work with SVU, it might not be what they’re expecting but I’m high profile enough that the novelty of me singing in your place will probably mean that they’ll overlook it. The DA’s office supporting the Police Foundation. It _will_ work.”

Olivia looked shocked and a tear fell down her cheek. “Are you serious? I mean, you’d really do that? Volunteer to get on stage and sing in front of all those people?”  
  
He felt sick to his stomach but nodded slowly. “Sure, I can do that,” he assured.

“Can you even sing?” Olivia asked, her mind suddenly struggling to catch up.

“I’ll be fine…” Barba assured softly. He knew that he couldn’t and wouldn’t go back on his word now that he’d told her that he would do this. She already looked like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

“You’d really do this for the foundation?” Olivia asked again.

“I’d do this for you, Liv,” he clarified and began to stand. His legs suddenly felt a little shaky. “The foundation is a bonus.”  
  
Olivia held his hands in place to stop him from standing and then pulled him into a hug. “Oh God, Rafa, I don’t even know how to thank you.”

Barba nodded against her shoulder and tried to catch his breath. What the hell had he been thinking?  
  


* * *

Barba stood in a back room of the venue the following evening and paced the floor nervously. He must have been insane to say that he could do this. He felt ill…hot…his head hurt…

_Oh my God, he couldn’t do this!_

_He had to do this,_ he told himself with frustration, _he’d promised her, he couldn’t let her down._ He closed his eyes and ran his hand over his shoulder. _Dios mio…_

Then suddenly Olivia walked around the corner in a stunning green dress and his mouth fell open.

“My God, Rafa!” She rushed over and instinctively brought her hand up to his neck when she saw his pale and clammy complexion. “You look dreadful and your heart rate is really fast, are you ill?”

He shook his head, suddenly a little lost for words. He needed to pull himself together or he would spiral and let her down. She needed him to sing _one_ song.

Just one.

Just this one time.

He stepped away, gulped down some water and then tried to distract from his anxiety. Focusing on the sound of his breathing, the feeling of the cool bottle of water in his hand…

“Have you hurt your shoulder?” Olivia asked. Her eyes were wide with concern as she watched him pace and repeatedly stroke over his clavicle.

“I just need a minute,” he replied quietly, “…just one minute. I _can_ do this.”  
  
She walked over and blocked his pacing, standing in his way and catching his eyes. “Rafa, I need you to talk to me. What is happening here?”  
  
“M-maybe just a little s-stage fright?” He suggested.

Her eyebrows rose. “This is more than just stage fright, Rafa. You look like you’re heading toward a panic attack. I need you to talk to me.”

Barba looked into her eyes, then took a couple of steady breaths. “Maybe a little anxiety, but I can do this, Liv. I promise.”  
  
“You knew this would be an issue?” Olivia asked softly.

“I…” he sighed, “…It’s been a while since I’ve done anything like this.”

“So why did you even volunteer?” Olivia asked a little sharply.

Right now her only concern was for him, but Barba misunderstood her words and cringed a little.

“I won’t let you down,” he tried to assure her, “I swear. Just give me a minute and I’ll-“  
  
“You really think I give a damn about this event right now?” She asked and looked at him with a concerned expression. “I’m worried about you, Rafa. Why would you even volunteer to do this if you knew it would have this effect?”  
  
“You were…” he paused and sighed, then looked down toward the ground before concluding, “…you were so upset, I wanted to help.”

“So you thought transferring my pain onto you would somehow solve the problem for either of us?” Olivia asked with a frown.

His breathing was starting to slow down now, his mind focused on her.  
  
“I don’t understand, can you explained to me what is happening?” Olivia asked softly.

Barba hesitated then finally decided to be completely truthful. “I did drama in high school…acting, singing. I guess I was pretty good. I was told that I could even train to do it professionally if I wanted to…"  
  
Olivia’s eyes widened with surprise.

“The night before our end of year performance my father caught me rehearsing in my bedroom. I had headphones on so that he wouldn’t hear, but I guess I got careless and sang too loud. He stormed into my room, told me that ‘real men don’t sing like women’…” He paused and then concluded. “He beat me…”

Tears welled in Olivia’s eyes now, her mouth slightly open as she shook her head in disbelief.

“Broken eye socket, a few minor lacerations…a broken collarbone…” He recalled his injuries dispassionately but then looked up and winced when he saw the tears now rolling down Olivia’s cheeks. “I haven’t…” he sighed with frustration, “…I guess it’s stupid, but I haven’t been on a stage since that day.”  
  
Olivia closed her eyes, took a long deep breath and then opened them again. “You won’t have to tonight, Rafa,” she told him firmly, “…I _can_ do this.”  
  
“No…” he assured quickly, “…I just need…”  
  
“I’m not going to let you re-traumatise yourself, Rafa,” she insisted and tried to focus on the one thing she felt she might be able to do for her friend.

“No, Liv, I’m not going to let my father control me anymore,” he insisted, his voice already sounding stronger. “He took something away from me that night, something that I used to love…and he turned it into something that I feared. Even something that I felt ashamed of. I promised that I would do this for you and I’m not going to let what he did stop me.”

“I let you volunteer to do this for me-” Olivia started to contend.

“That’s different, you don’t _want_ to sing…” he smiled with a hint of affectionate amusement in his eyes, “…and you are really bad.”

They both laughed now and Olivia dropped her forehead against his. “Look at the two of us…” she looked into his eyes, “…You really want to do this?”  
  
He nodded slowly, “If only I could get my father’s voice out of my head. The fear I felt that night has become so mixed up with the good fear that I used to feel before going on stage - it’s like my body has forgotten which is which, and the thought of going on stage is triggering a fight or flight response.”

Olivia closed her eyes, took a moment and then pulled back a little. “So you replace him with something new?” She suggested.  
  
He looked confused and shook his head.

“Rafael Barba, I think that you are amazing,” she told him firmly, “…you stepped up to do this to help me even though you were scared. You know what else? I believe that you are really talented. I think your father heard you sing that night and he was jealous. Jealous of your talent, jealous of your heart, jealous of all the ways that you were a better man than he was…even at 17-years-old.”

“Livia…” He cut in softly.

“No, Rafa, I mean it,” Olivia assured him a little more forcefully. “When you feel your father creeping into your head I want you to ignore him and think of me…think of me telling you that you are Rafael _fucking_ Barba and you have proved time and time again that you can do anything that you set your mind to.”

Barba's heart rate had already dropped and he took a deep breath. “You could be a professional motivational speaker,” he told her.

Olivia laughed, “I’m only really interested in motivating you…” she glanced at the time. “You have five minutes. Are you sure that you want to do this?”  
  
He nodded with renewed determination.

“Is it going to be easier for you if I wait back here?” She asked. Olivia longed to watch him sing but she would do whatever was easier for him.  
  
Barba shook his head quickly, “No, I think I’ll feel better if I can see you.”  
  
She smiled and nodded, “Okay, okay…and Rafa, _thank you.”_

He nodded, then she turned and walked away.

He had a drink of water and closed his eyes, feeling self-doubt drifting back into his mind and then focusing on the memory of her voice…and the smile in Olivia’s eyes when she had told him that he was amazing.

* * *

A few minutes later, he walked into the event, introduced himself to the organiser and then asked to speak to the leader of the band.

“Hey,” the bandleader greeted him with a friendly smile. “SVU right? Mack the Knife?”

“I wondered if it would be possible to make a last-minute change? It’s a standard,” Barba asked hopefully.

The man looked a little doubtful.

“Ray Charles, You Don’t Know Me,” Barba pushed. “You’d be doing me a real favor, I…” He glanced over as he saw Olivia sitting nearby.

The bandleader followed his gaze, smiled, and then nodded over at Olivia. “Your lady?” He asked.

“A…close friend,” Barba clarified hopefully, knowing that he wouldn’t need to explain more. His nerves about what he was about to do were now overwhelming his stage fright. Nothing that his long-deceased father could do to him could be bigger than the risk he was about to take.

The man smiled widely and looked at the band. “We all okay on ‘You Don’t Know me’?” He asked. “I believe our man here is on a mission to win that beautiful lady..."

They all followed their bandleader's eye line, then smiled and nodded before a couple of them had to dig through their bags to find the sheet music.

“Thank you,” Barba said gratefully. He was passed a mic and gripped it tightly.

“You know, if we’re gonna do this you’re actually gonna have to do your part as well,” his new friend pointed out and nodded toward the front of the small stage as they started playing.

Barba smiled and walked forward. He looked around at everyone as they clapped, recognising several familiar faces. Then his eyes finally landed on Olivia, who smiled at him and nodded encouragingly.

 _Deep breaths, she thinks you’re amazing,_ he told himself with minimal confidence.

Then he started a little tentatively…

**_“You give your hand to me_ **

**_Then you say hello_ **

**_I can hardly speak_ **

**_My heart is beating so_ **

**_And anyone can tell_ **

**_You think you know me well_ **

**_But you don't know me”_ **

He looked around the room, his eyes moving back to Olivia briefly and seeing the surprise on her face.

**_“No, you don't know the one_ **

**_Who dreams of you at night_ **

**_And longs to kiss your lips_ **

**_And longs to hold you tight_ **

**_Oh, I'm just a friend_ **

**_That's all I've ever been_ **

**_'Cause you don't know me”_ **

He watched a tear slide down her face and felt his voice become stronger. Right now his childhood traumas were far from his mind, he was focused purely on Olivia.

**_“For I never knew_ **

**_The art of making love_ **

**_Though my heart aches_ **

**_With love for you_ **

**_Afraid and shy_ **

**_I've let my chance go by_ **

**_The chance that you might_ **

**_Love me, too”_ **

She was smiling broadly now and he felt sure that she must know he was singing this _for_ her.

**_“You give your hand to me_ **

**_And then you say good-bye_ **

**_I watch you walk away_ **

**_Beside the lucky guy_ **

**_You'll never know_ **

**_The one who loves you so_ **

**_Well, you don't know me”_ **

As he finished the whole room applauded enthusiastically for the multitalented ADA. He nodded his thanks, then turned and walked over to give back the microphone.

“You’re pretty decent,” the bandleader told him genuinely. Then he nodded at Olivia, who was already walking slowly toward the stage. “I’d say you won the girl, too…”  
  
Barba turned and his breath caught when he saw the look in her eyes. He smiled weakly back at the man, “We’ll see…”

He walked down off the stage on slightly wobbly legs and was surprised when Olivia didn’t speak, she just grabbed his hand and towed him toward the room where he had left his things.

She shut the door and turned to him. “What happened to Mack the Knife?” She asked.

“I thought…” He started and then trailed off.

“You were amazing,” she said with an expression that he’d only ever dreamed of seeing on her face.

“T-thanks,” he replied awkwardly, then winced as he cursed himself for acting like a fumbling idiot.

Similarly, Olivia tried to calm herself down. Maybe he wasn’t singing for her…but it sure _felt_ like he was. Maybe she’d just convinced herself of that? What if he’d just been singing a damn song and she’d made up all their shared looks in her head?

“I…” Olivia looked away. She felt about 16, what the hell was wrong with her? “I was meant to be working tomorrow night and my schedule changed, I haven’t even spoken to Lucy yet.”  
  
Barba nodded, his mind struggling to catch up with their apparent shift in conversation.

“Oh?” He asked and then glanced at the ceiling in frustration. How did she manage to shave about 100 points off his IQ? With everyone else on the planet, he was cool, calm, collected…he could innocently flirt and charm his way out of any situation. With Olivia Benson, he somehow felt safer than he had ever felt, but often without his linguistic toolbox. She’d peeled away his layers and made him vulnerable.

“I was thinking maybe, if you’re free, we could go for a drink?” She asked.

Barba blinked. Was she actually nervous? Usually, he was the one suggesting drinks and she was the one turning him down in favor of storytime with Noah. He understood, of course, he did, he didn’t want her to miss out on her time with Noah. Maybe deep down he longed to be part of storytime as well…

“If you’re busy…” she started to assure him with a small smile.

 _God, Rafael! Speak!_ He told himself sharply. “No, no, that sounds good. I mean, great, I mean…sure,” he replied. _That’s right, really smooth,_ he told himself. “I’d like that,” he finally told her more calmly.

She smiled now, trying not to let herself read into the fact that he was rambling nervously in a way that was so unlike her usually smooth ADA. “Great, maybe we could even grab dinner?” She suggested.

“Yes,” he paused and then added, “…we don’t often get a night off together. We could have an evening. You know there’s a street fair in Little Italy this weekend. Or maybe something a little more upscale?”  
  
“No, a street fair sounds perfect. We could have dinner and go for a walk, maybe even try a few rides?” She smiled hopefully.

Barba swallowed and then nodded, this was starting to sound like a date. “I’d like that,” he replied.

She regretfully glanced over his shoulder at the door. “I should mingle,” she said, “…do you want to join me for a drink?”

He shook his head, “Actually, if I’m taking the night off tomorrow I should go home and get some work done.”

Olivia nodded and understood, the rest of the evening would be taken up with professional networking, so spending time with him on their own sounded more appealing anyway. “Thank you again for tonight,” she told him and then bravely leaned in and kissed his warm cheek, “…you’re a lifesaver.”

Barba smiled and watched speechlessly as she walked away.

* * *

The following evening Olivia turned her back toward the mirror and smoothed her hand over her ass. They had said that they would dress casually but she wanted to look good. Her most flattering jeans, sandals, a perfectly fitted t-shirt and colourful jewellery that Noah (Lucy) had given her for Christmas.

Did these jeans make her ass look big?

“Mommy, what are you doing?” Noah asked from the doorway.

Olivia jumped and turned to find Lucy and Noah looking at her with amused expressions.

“Hi!” She greeted them nervously as though she hadn’t been talking to them both 15 minutes earlier.

Lucy’s smile grew now. This was an intriguing turn of events.

“I was just wondering about my jeans. Are they too tight?” Olivia asked a little awkwardly.

“You look pretty, mommy,” Noah assured her.

“You really do look amazing,” Lucy added. “Is this…?”  
  
“Just drinks with a friend, food…we might go to the street fair…” Olivia tried to sound casual, but the harder she tried the more sure she was that she was failing. “I don’t go out much, I guess it’s nice to make an effort.” She glanced a little nervously in the mirror. “I really look okay?”

Lucy smiled, then looked down at Noah and carefully worded her response. “You look beautiful,” she assured, “…and you deserve a night out.”

There was a knock at the door and all eyes turned toward the hallway.

“Can I answer?” Noah asked excitedly. He’d only just learned that he was tall enough to open the door.

Olivia checked the time and then smiled at her son. Barba was never late.

“Okay,” she told him, “…but when you find out who is waiting on the other side I need you to remember they are here for a playdate with mommy and that we need to leave soon. You’re staying here with Lucy, okay?”  
  
Noah looked a little confused, but then spun around and ran for the door.

Lucy stared at Olivia with amused intrigue, whoever she was so nervous and excited about going out with tonight must know Noah…and well enough that she suspected her son would want to monopolise their attention.

 _“Uncle Rafa!!!!”_ The young boy’s cry carried down the hall.

Lucy’s smile only grew further now. Rafael Barba? Oh, she liked _him_ …and even from their brief meetings, she had no doubt that he was a really good guy.

“Don’t!” Olivia told her with a smirk. She knew that smile.

“I didn’t say a word,” Lucy laughed. “Just…it’s Saturday night, you’re nervous about what you’re wearing, more than would be common for dinner with a friend. However, this friend also happens to be an extremely attractive man.” She paused. “No, I’m not saying a word…”

Olivia smiled broadly, “Good, I’m glad to hear that you aren’t saying a word.”

“Just…” Lucy paused.

“Go on, if you must…” Olivia encouraged her with a smile.

“He’s a nice guy, Noah adores him and _you_ deserve to be happy. Maybe have someone take care of you every now and then?” She glanced back down the hall to where Barba was kneeling down animatedly talking to Noah. “I think Mr Barba might be very good at that, given the right encouragement.”

Olivia was surprised to find herself a little emotional.  
  
“Is this really just a night out with a friend?” Lucy asked.

Olivia rolled her eyes. “Rafael _is_ a good friend…but I guess I’m hoping that it could lead to more. You really think Noah likes him that much?”

Lucy smiled and nodded down the hall, encouraging Olivia to join her in the doorway and watch Barba and Noah.

Noah was chatting to his Uncle Rafa excitedly about something.

“Mr Barba is very good with him,” Lucy observed softly.

“He’s never had much experience with children, but he’s known Noah for a long time. He’s always made an effort,” Olivia said as they watched them.

“It’s clearly worked. Noah talks about his Uncle Rafa, you know? He clearly likes and respects him, and he trusts him. I’m sure he’s picked some of that up from you, but that’s also a testament to Mr Barba,” Lucy observed. Now that the conversation had moved on to Noah she felt even more comfortable sharing her opinions.

Barba seemed to sense them watching him and looked up. He smiled when he saw Olivia and mouthed ‘hello’.

“He’s also an extremely good looking man,” Lucy added with a grin, “…and that’s an extremely sexy smile."  
  
Olivia laughed a little, her eyes hardly leaving his. “He sang at a charity event for me last night, I was meant to do it but he stepped in for me. He changed the song last minute - ‘You Don’t Know Me’, do you know it?”  
  
Lucy smiled widely now and her eyes danced with excitement. “Oh, Olivia…” She replied softly, clearly understanding the meaning of the song.

“This means a lot,” Olivia confided. “I can’t remember the last time it meant more. If I’m honest, I’m not sure that it’s ever meant this much…and I don’t want to mess this up,” she admitted still watching her son and her friend, “…for me, for Noah, or for Rafa. You know?”  
  
“Some unsolicited advice?” Lucy asked.

Olivia nodded.

“Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, or him,” Lucy suggested. “He’s your friend. You trust him. You obviously care deeply for him. Just go out and enjoy your evening together. If something is meant to happen, it will, but don’t let the potential for more fill your head and stop you from enjoying each other’s company.”

Olivia smiled at Lucy and nodded again. “Thank you,” she told her genuinely, “…I think that’s just the advice that I needed to hear.”

* * *

Once Olivia had finally managed to peel her date away from her son, dinner had been perfect. Their meal had stretched out over almost three hours and neither had even needed to suggest embargoing ‘work talk’ - they had for more interesting things to share with each other. They laughed and they told stories about their past…tentatively moving toward talking about their plans for the future and finding that they were more alike than they had even realised.

By the time they had arrived at the fair it was busy and noisy, the air filled with excitement and the scents of sweet and savoury Italian delicacies.

As they walked through the street their arms brushed against each other until Olivia finally took the initiative and moved to link her arm through his. A small step, but one that made them both smile.

“After everything, did you enjoy singing last night?” Olivia asked softly under the noise. The crowd was busy but they were close enough for that not to matter.

Barba smiled and tilted his head. “Actually, I think I did. I could almost remember how it had felt when I first started.”

Olivia was happy to hear that the experience had ultimately been positive. “I didn’t tell you last night, but I was right…you have a wonderful voice, Rafa. Really beautiful.”

Barba felt a rush through his body at her words and almost began to walk a little taller. “Thank you,” he replied softly and then looked to the left and noticed an old-fashioned target game. He hadn’t played one of those since he was a kid.

He directed her over and Olivia laughed. “Seriously?” She asked.

“I used to be good at these!” Barba protested. “Isn’t it traditional for me to win you something to take home from the fair?”  
  
Olivia almost automatically clarified that this tradition was only meant for dates, but she stopped herself and tightened her arm in his as they walked over.

They stepped apart and Barba paid before picking up the large cork gun. He held it up and shot. He hit the target, but slightly off-centre. Then again - once more off-centre. Again - just off target. He paid more money and had similar results.

Olivia was surprised to see that he was actually better than she had expected. “Are you going to give me a try?” She asked with a smile.

Barba smirked and stepped aside, paying again and then watching with at least two eye-rolls as she immediately got three easy bullseyes.

“Win for the lady!” The game runner yelled and then smiled at Barba. _“That’s_ how it’s done.”

Barba smirked at Olivia. “Couldn’t have let me have one?” He asked her with an amused arched eyebrow.

“I’m not about to change who I am for anyone, ADA Barba,” she teased, “…and I _am_ a highly trained New York cop.”

Barba laughed and watched as Olivia pointed to a panda and then received her prize. He stepped up as she turned and surprised her when he slipped his hand into hers.

“I would never expect or want you to change for anyone, Liv,” he assured and linked their fingers in a way that couldn’t be mistaken. “I couldn’t be more proud of everything you are, or more proud to call you my friend.”

Olivia tightened her hand in his, then she held out the panda to him with a slightly tearful smile. “This is for you, I’ve called him Rafi,” she told him and leaned into his side as they walked.

Barba excepted the bear and smiled at it. “Rafi,” he looked the panda in the eyes and smirked, “…thanks.”

“Anytime,” she replied and then looked up at a Ferris wheel near the end of the street. “How are you with heights?”  
  
His eyes followed her eye-line and he laughed. “Good. Unless there’s a very real risk that I might be falling from one…or bungee jumping. Someone told me once that you can get a detached retina while bungee jumping. I don’t know exactly what that is, but I know that the retina is in the eye and anything to do with eyes and _detached_ sounds like something to avoid.”

Olivia laughed and pulled him toward the ride, she paid for their tickets and they got on.

As they started to move Olivia laughed in surprise and reached out to take his hand again. “I loved the Ferris wheel when I was a kid,” she said, looking around them as they rose into the night air.

“Don’t tell me,” Barba teased happily, “…beautiful Olivia Benson had a line of boys begging to accompany her? So how many boys did you kiss on one of these, Liv?”  
  
She laughed and rolled her eyes at him. “A grand total of _zero,_ if you must know,” she replied honestly, “…I guess I was a bit of a ‘tom boy’ in high school, boys seemed a little put off.”

Barba smiled, “If you’re right those boys were crazy, although I think it’s far more likely that they all thought you were out of their league…”

She laughed, “How would you know that?”

“I used to _be_ a teenage boy, Livia, and I know that I would have adored you from afar…” He told her this so genuinely that her breath caught.

“Rafa…” Olivia whispered softly. She was silent for a moment. “Actually, high school wasn’t always easy. Looking back, I would have given anything to have a friend like you.”

“Who couldn’t even shoot straight?” He joked lightly.

“Who would stand by my side. Maybe we could have taken some of the pressure off each other, so we didn’t always have to shoulder all the weight on our own?” She suggested. “I would have told you every day that your father never deserved you.”

“And I would have told you every day that you deserve love,” he told her without thinking, “…that no one deserves love more than you.”

Olivia glanced down at his lips - she wanted him, but suddenly found herself unable to move.

“Livia, may I…” Barba took a breath, “…may I kiss you?”  
  
She smiled, _her_ feminist icon. “Please,” she replied.

“You really are breathtakingly beautiful,” he said softly and leaned in a little. “You’re sure?”

Olivia laughed now. “Are you intentionally trying to drive me crazy, Rafa?”

“I’m terrified of messing this up, Livia." He told her sincerely. "You have no idea how much I need-“

Her lips suddenly met his and he stopped talking, his mouth slightly open as he moaned quietly when he felt her warm breath blend with his.

Olivia pulled back a little and her hand moved to rest on the side of his face.“I love you, Rafa. Even the thought of losing you breaks my heart, but I also trust you, and I believe that means we’ll both give everything we had to make sure that never happens.”

Barba’s hand immediately came to her hip and he leaned in, both falling into a slightly tentative but no less passionate kiss. Their lips traced gently, his tongue suddenly pushing into her mouth and causing Olivia’s fingers to comb into his hair with a groan.

A cough startled them apart.

“You two want to stay on, _or…_ ” a young man’s voice asked, clearly laced with humor.

They both laughed awkwardly and their foreheads briefly rested together before Barba turned and quickly gave him some money.

The ride moved forward and he turned back to Olivia. Her teeth grazed over her bottom lip and Barba looked down to check that Rafi was still secured between them.

“My first Ferris wheel kiss,” Olivia told him with a smile, “…well worth the wait.”

“I feel as though this was probably implied, but…” His gaze was roving over her face as though he didn’t know where to look, but then it finally settled on her eyes. “I love you, too. You _and_ Noah.”

Olivia smiled broadly now. “Yes, you were definitely worth the wait,” she repeated just as his lips met hers again.

**THE END**


End file.
